The Love Conflict

MindPlay by Karma

(from the book “Sexually Explicit” and featured in "Awake Falling Up", coming soon)

On occasion my puzzle is my ego

And I like to let the pieces fall as they may

Leaving them each in an alluring disarray

And dangerous as it may be

Touched by blissed and shaped in ways that I see fit

Therefore they suit me

Leaves something to reminiscence

Outside the box mindplay exists

What is it that possesses someone to say that they’re falling in love with someone they’ve just virtually met?  They don’t even know any of your faults or flaws… not even your middle name.  If it’s genuine, are they falling for you or that glorified part in (or of) you that they think they see?  It seems that people don’t really value the true meaning of the words “I Love You” anymore.  Just use it for all intents but opening yourself up to the person you’re supposedly in love with.  Unless their actions reflect what their words say.. or maybe the actions have just been going unnoticed, this trend appears to have become the new form of having notches on the belt.  

“Some people are just in love with the idea of falling in love” is something that I’ve grown to believe.  Wanting to recreate that initial feeling, that initial adrenaline rush is what causes people to fall head over heels for someone acting out the scenes in some fairytale movie and saying all the lines.  That beautiful rush is what causes some people to leave relationships that otherwise would have lasted a lifetime.  Searching for what they thought was the excitement missing.  Some feel that love isn’t obtainable therefore nonexistent leaving them to use (the idea of) it as a game to play with the hearts of unsuspecting victims.  Everyone has ugly sides to them and some more so than others.  It all really depends on your perception.  But hey, (inner) beauty is in the eye of the beholder and love does make people do some crazy things no matter how illogical it may seem to someone else.  I just don’t understand it but then I can.  I do believe in love at first sight.  And falling in love probably wouldn’t be as exciting if we did understand it and knew exactly what to expect.   If there is a false sense of love, I wonder if it is caused by the soul-ties that I’ve heard people speak of.  Finding love is like playing a game of Russian roulette.  Everytime your heart breaks, you lose a part of your soul and die a little.  Especially if you have given of yourself more than just emotionally and mentally.  I’ve even said to myself before, “I exude that which eludes me..”   All in all love is still worth fighting for.

 

In Love at War by Karma

(from the book “Awake Falling Up”, coming soon)

I am confused

Not knowing 

What to do

Stressed over the decisions

Cause everything causes

Chain reactions

Hoping not to regret what happens

Needing a sign, a hint, some sort of clue

At times, I feel like a puppet in love

And at others,

Like a pawn in the universe’s

Game of a tug of war

Yep, that’s it

My mind is a battlefield

And I’m constantly countering

Each of my thoughts

Trying to justify my moves as strategies

A back up plan for a backup plan

A counter attack just in case...

I regret what happens.

What Makes You Want to Live a Life of Passion?

"There's NO trying, just Do or do NOT".  -Motherhood (movie)

I often ask people what is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.  For some it's getting up so they can go to work and that's it, for others it's a painting that they've imagined in their mind, but just not have had the guts to put brush to canvas.  Sometimes I feel that with every experience we have and for each new thought that we've embraced; our "passion" is being created.  It's that driving force that keeps us finding ways to do more than just tread water.  That little image in our minds of how our finish line looks is what helps us to really LIVE instead of just moping around complaining and wishing things would just change.  I feel that even with insurmountable amount of passion about something, a thought isn't much of anything without an action (or series of actions) behind it.  So besides the whole "working to live and living to work", what is it that sparks that little fire in your belly?  What is that thing that stirs up those old butterflies you used to feel when you were younger laying in the grass staring up into the clouds saying, "When I grow up I want to be.."

First Blog

This is going to be my way of learning to open up more and just speak freely.  I find that I often "censor" myself for the sake of not offending anyone.  I'm always pushing everyone else to not be afraid to speak up and just do whatever it is that your heart is truly guiding you to.  Meanwhile, being a sheltered little butterfly myself.  So, I will say this now, if I offend you sorry.  But then again, no I'm not.  I'm pretty sure that even you have offended someone with something that you've said and not cared.  So, if you are reading this, you are witnessing a tiny piece of my journey that I call life..